smoke & mirrors (vulpinegrrrl) wrote,
smoke & mirrors
vulpinegrrrl

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something.

in my dream we were talking and laughing like old times. we were being playful, but i was [still] angry and it was burning my chest. i was treating him like a kindergarten love. flirting in those innocent ways, then picking on him mercilessly. like i do. he tried to stand up to me, but softly. i picked him up by the collar and held him just above me, ready to bite off his head. he smiled and it melted me. like it always does.

...

i went to puddletown a few weeks back. it was like walking into a movie you've seen a hundred times. that familiarwarmloving and oddsuspicioussurreal something. i saw almost everyone i'd hoped to. better than that, i got to spend time with all those i wanted to. needed to. it did my heart and soul good to be back at the side of the darling boy. all possible descriptions of what that time means/t to me will likely fall short. so. what else? hm. not scared- not worried- not anxious... that something i feel sometimes about the boy who reminds me. no matter, though. once i saw him, that all went away. as time has gone i've shed so much of that history. but, i was able to let that thing go in a way i haven't been able to. still, he means so much to me. and i know that will never fade. so. oh, and the weather and the water- i am smiling just recalling all of this. peacock was a treat.

...

work is driving me crazy and i'm going to kill bossman. almost no one believes me. perhaps it is better that way. an ultimatum has been placed before him. the deadline fast approaches. while he's out of town it almost feels easier, just because he's not there and i can keep the gears of the machine going just fine. these back-to-back 12 hour days are bringing my claws out, though. luckily, it seems, august in new york will present itself with plenty of work to do and plenty of fun to have. regardless of ultimatum results. so yay.

...

p.s. l5p & decatur = twilight zone
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