smoke & mirrors (vulpinegrrrl) wrote,
smoke & mirrors

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so i gather.

i kept meaning to type out these things that have happened, but it doesn't seem to come out quite right. i kept meaning to articulate the randomness in order to try to make sense of it all. so much has happened. i'm back from new york having slid all of those things into the darkness of the east river. i washed it from my eyes and hands and the images are like shadows of ghosts-- there, but not there. all of it. the night i found myself in a room with 5 virgos and it was discovered that their birthdays fell on the 11th, 12th, 13th, 14th, and 15th, respectively and what that energy grew into. the night i had my life physically threatened by someone that, i'm quite sure, had every intention of following through and what happened next. the night i got propositioned by the renaissance queen and the tears that followed. many other strange nights. some bad, some good. too much of the former, just enough of the latter to keep me smiling and in love with this life. as it turns out, there is no sense to be made of any of it. and so what? summer turns to fall. these things just happen.


kaiju has reappeared and is broken, but her fire never fades. her presence sharpens my senses effortlessly and she is unaware. i think i like it that way. nein has been gone for weeks and weeks. i only see him in the occasional dream, now. in them, he says things i can never remember when i awake. but i remember that he is smiling. so, i know we're okay, my almond boy and i. oh, autumn, when does lucidity come?


p.s. new york was wonderful, as always.
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